Attack of the Mutt

Some of my more recent blogs have been quite serious. I want to lighten things up a bit. As far as the serious side, thanks to everyone for your support. As you all know I have a puppy. She is 10 months old, half jack russell and half pikaneese. She does have the energy level of the jack russell, bouncing as high as the counters when I first get home from work. She even resembles a jack russell with a dark brown patch over one eye and another on her back near her tail. She has a serious underbite and her small little teeth jut out a bit on the bottom. It kind of makes her look like a bad ass, but she only stands about a foot tall from head to floor and weighs in at a whopping 10 1/2 lbs. She is very affectionate and loves to lick, especially noses and mouths. I do my best to keep her away from my mouth but she is very quick. Yuck! When you cover your mouth she will attack your nose. Her tongue is so small it fits up a nostril without any problem and she loves it. Double Yuck!!

Habit, my dog, loves to go over and torment my parents dog, Tie. Tie is very protective of her and pretty much lets her beat up on him. She will bite his legs, mouth, tail. He will move away and giver her a toy to play with instead. She follows him everywhere. He has adopted her and takes care of her like a father. It is really quite cute. Last night I decided to stay overnight at my parents house. Habit was in heaven. She was getting extra Tie time. When we are at home and it is bed time, I tell her it is nighty night time. We go upstairs to my room and go to sleep. She will sleep next to me and go to sleep without any problems. Since I decided to stay at my mom and dads last night, I told her it was nighty night time. I picked her up and carried her into the spare room with me and shut the door. I lay down on the bed close my eyes and repeat that it was time to go to sleep. She was not having any of it. She wanted out with Tie. I tried to hold her down. That did not work. So I decided to just shut my eyes and she would get tired of standing by the door whinnying and come to bed.

I shut my eyes, I felt the bed give and hot breath on me. as soon as I opened my eyes she jumped off the bed and ran to the bedroom door. I knew she only wanted out to get to Tie because I had let her potty prior to going to bed. There fore I just shut my eyes again. After a few minutes the whole process repeated itself and she once again jumped off the bed when I opened my eyes. Still I was going to win!!! The dog was not going to defeat me. I closed my eyes and more time went by. I had just fallen asleep when it happened. Attack of the mutt. I felt a hot wet object being thrust up my nose. Being in the realm of sleep I jerked my head away and she pounced. Habit was standing on my head and I was swiping with my hands and thrashing my head back an fourth to keep away from the slick wet tongue but she was quick and was lapping as me like I was an ice cream cone. Finally I got her off of me by sitting straight up in bed which tossed her onto the floor.

She was dancing around running to the door and back to me, to the door and back to me. I was busy wiping the doggy drool off my face and trying to clean out my now tongue raped nose. I gave up.. Fine she wins. I throw the cover off my body stand up and take a step to let her out of the room. Seems my dog left me a surprise, which she does when she is mad at me. My foot landed in a puddle of pee and I slid right onto my butt on the floor. Yes I am a klutz but slipping on a tiled floor in a puddle of pee after my nose had been violated was not my idea of an ideal wake up call. I picked myself up off of the floor made it to the door and flung it open as if the hounds of hell were about to attack instead of a 10 lb rat dog.

Habit ran out of the room straight through the kitchen to the den where my mother and Tie was. By the time I had gotten to the den she was snuggled up next to Tie on the couch with her eyes heavy and starting to close. It was a lost battle. I went to the bathroom, cleaned my feet off, went back to the bedroom and cleaned up the floor, washed my hands and crawled back into bed. Alone. Seems that is just par for the course..lol.

Fear

I know I said my next blog was going to be about the party for my mom, but I thought a change of subject was in order. I will start with the party though. It is becoming a monster. My dad has an idea of what he wants and I had my idea. I wanted to do a pretty party, with roses and my moms favorite color. My dad wants a black "Over the Hill" party. Since he is paying for it I am doing as he wishes. I just wish he would tell me all at once what he would like for the thing not after I start making plans then I have to change them. The cake is the new issue. The woman who usually bakes the cakes for our parties is going to be out of town that weekend. This has left me scouring the city for something I like. I was going to do the Wal-Mar, Kroger, Meijer route but my dad was thinking bakeries and cake sampling. We are working on it. Not much time left but it will get done. Onto my next subject. Fear.

Have you ever been truly afraid? I know most people like scary movies, haunted houses and things of that nature to frighten them for entertainment purposes. I am talking about being scared by life, someone or something that is real. The movies and such we know are fiction and although it is frightening in the back of our minds we understand it is not real. I have my fear like everyone else. Fear of failure, rejection, snakes,you know the normal stuff. Right now I am beyond scared. I am lost. I know many have no idea what I am talking about. It is one of those things that you keep to yourself and do not share. I am lost and I am afraid for the most precious gift any of us can have. Life.

Suprise!!!

I am currently thinking about suprises. Theier can be good ones and bad. The suprise my puppy left for my room mate was not what I would consider a pleasant one. She got into his room and pooed right in front of his closet. She normally is not alllowed in his room. When she does get in she is taken out just as quickly. She has improved on her potty training. Actually she has gotten much much better. The only time she has accidents is when I am not paying attention to her and don't let her outside or she is mad. I guess she was mad because she got into his room without me realizing she was in there and left her suprise. Needless to say my room mate was not happy and I heard about it. It is not like it was done on purpose or out of meanness. It was in fact an accident. He now jokingly threatens to kill my dog. At least I hope he is joking. Ok that was a bad suprise.


At this time I am also planning a birthday party for my mom. She is turing 50 and it is a suprise. My dad is helping with the expenses but can not help with the preparations because it would alert my mom to the situation. My very good friends are goping to help me throw this thing together. It isn't the first big party we have thrown so we should be getting pretty good at it. I am thinking nicely done party, not like the "over the hill" party we gave my dad when he turned 50. Women are a bit more sensitive about their ages although my mom has never been. I think something tasteful and pretty. I plan to use yellow as one of the colors. It is her favorite. Maybe have some yellow roses or petals spread throughout somehow. She also likes dasies. I am sure it will be great. A wonderful suprise considering what we are going through right now.

The worst suprise may come to my brother. He may be getting a visit from my parents soon. He will think that is good until he learns the reason. I am trying to think positive and hope that they do not have to make the trip but only time will tell. My dad has skin cancer. He has been fighting it for years. He is also a kidney transplant pateint. A little over a week ago he asked me to look at a place on his arm. It was a knot about the size of a half dollar right on the old incision line from his fistula. He said it was sore, but it was not hot or red. I encouraged him to show his doctor. He did show it to his cancer doctor. He was concerned it might be a clot or aneurysm, which is what I was thinking. He called is kidney doctor due to the location and he told my dad over the phone just to place warm compresses on it. It was probably phlebitis. For those of you who do not know what phlebitis is, it is a condition classified as an inflammation of a vessel. I knew it was not phlebitis because it was not red or warm but my dad did what he was told. It did not go away. Actually 2 more small areas formed in less than a week down by his wrist. When he saw his dermatologist the doctor became very alarmed. He thinks the cancer has went into his lymph nodes. The next day sent him to one of the best surgeons for hands in the city. Dr. Kuntz wants to know what he is dealing with and has ordered some MRI's. If in fact the knot on his upper arm is a tumor he will need further testing to see how spread out it is. If it is a clot then he will need a different treatment. What is so concerning is the 2 new areas that presented in less than a week. If the cancer is now in my fathers lymph nodes the spread is usually quick. They do not want to have to tell my brother that over the phone. They will make a trip to Florida. The worst suprise. For now we wait. Wait to see what is to come. May you all be blessed with health and happiness.

Ranting.... Bad or Good?

I have noticed I have been ranting a bit. I just finsihed responding to a mutual friends blog and my comment was a rant. I did warn her when she called and told me about the blog. I have found ranting through writing can almost be as self satisfying as ranting in person. I try very hard not to rant in person, to keep a level head and think before speaking. That is what I was tought. Most of the time when I rant in person it is not to the person the rant is about. It is usually with one of my friends over the whole situation. Ranting in wortong tales away some of the reaction to the words but you still say what needs to be done. So is is good or bad to rant in person or wirting. Which is better? I think I will try a bit of both..ha ha ha. Hope everyone has a good day. Keep on writing.

National Male Dickhead Month

I have come to a conclusion that March must be National Male Dickhead Month. Alas , I did not get the memo prior. Why do I say this you may ask? I have a group of female friends. Most of the time we all get along, but as friends sometimes do we have our disagreements. Three out of my four friends, as well as myself, are having some interesting issues with the men in our lives. They range from emotional roller coasters, to miscommunication, to no communication, ranting and raving to just not willing to talk at all. I have begun to believe it either has to be Dickhead Month or they have all turned into four year olds having tanturums. That also brings to mind a double standard. As women if we rant and rave, throw tantrums, refuse to speak or show the smallest bit of anger or high emotion, we are labeled as being bitchy or of course it must be PMS. Just an FYI women are allowed to get angry, we are allowed to be just as outright in our agressive emotions as men. For my girlfriends, all I can say is hang in there. There will be a day when this type of behavior is no longer such a strong part of our lives, where we are able to express ourselves and not be held prisioner to their inability to communicate effectively, and we are not seen as unreasonable when we stand up for our protection.

This is not a male bashing blog. There are some men at this time that are not under the Dickhead syndrome. I am afraid they are out of the loop and did not get the memo either...lol. To those wonderful men who read this far down please do me a favor. Think about your actions with the women in your life right now. Do you get upset with them when they try to talk to you about "touchy" subjects and shut down communication? Do you lie to them? Do you cheat on them at any time? Are you able to understand and see more than one side of an issue or are you so stuck in one frame of mind that you will inevitably hurt the woman? This is just not for the loves of your life but the mothers, sisters, and friends as well. I wish you luck gents.

The man/woman relationship is always going to be one of the most trying aspects of the adult psyche. Men and women are different. We think differently and we react differently. Typically men are aggressors and women are nurturers. As the world changes and the roles men and women have to take in society women are becoming more agressive. Yet they are still supposed to be the fairer sex and appear nonagressive. Relationships are becoming more difficult. The lines turning grey. On a date who pays? Do you go dutch? If the woman asks the man out should she therefore pay for the date? How do you bring up these topics before said date? Dating in the new millenium reminds me of an old Pat Bennitar song. "Love is a Battlefield." For all those who hold the belief "All's fair in love and war", I know many of you do, remember war has casualties. Is it really love if you are willing to make the person of your so called love a casualty of war? If so......Battle On.

Can You Be Too Far Gone????

Anyone who has read my blog for any amount of time will notice I have tried to be more positive this year in my thinking. I was hoping the positive approach to life and all it has to offer would somehow make things more pleasant in the grand scheme of my world. I will say I am not always a pessimistic person but I do hug the grey line between positive and negative thinking normally. Let's just say the positive thinking is not working. Not only are things not looking better, they somehow seem to be going further downhill. I am not sure how to stop the landslide. With things continuing to pile up it leaves me to wonder.... Can you be too far gone?

I know I may have blogged previously about some of my financial difficulty. I am employed full time as a nurse. I have no objection to work. Most of my adult life I have held 2 jobs, a full time job and a part time job. Heck at one point I had 3 jobs. I made some mistakes and now I am somewhat in a bind because of those mistakes. Ok not somewhat in a bind, I am in a crisis. I have borrowed, shuffled, and tap danced to try and keep myself afloat. There is nothing left to shuffle. I can no longer tap dance. Does anyone have any suggestions? Not all of my current situation is due to my mistakes though. I have been off from work for the last 3 weeks due to a medical problem. Hence, the second step to my downhill slide.

As I said in my last blog I became very ill around Valentine's Day. The severe abdominal pain and nausea has not went away. The only thing that works are the meds and they put me to sleep. I went to the doctor today and he is sending me to a surgeon. Not because he found something but because he doesn't know. Oh and to top it off, he will not clear me to go back to work until the surgeon is done with me. No income and the bills keep coming.

I am due to start work with a new company April 1. My company lost our contract and I am following it to the new provider. That is if my doctor will release me in time. I am hanging in limbo.

I am tired of being sick, I am tired of struggling, I need a break. I need something positive. I am afraid I am too far gone. Any suggestions?