First Sight
Something had to give. Boy, when I said that I was hoping for a little bend , I did not know I was getting ready to snap it in half. It was December 2004. "Beth" and I decided to go out to our favorite weekend hang out. The Redneck Bar. I was usually the designated driver on our outings, by choice. I also loved watching Beth let her hair down and be herself. We always had a great time. Our favorite DJ was working that night. Beth and I were regulars and we knew most of the employees there by name. Heck the DJ had been known to give us a call on nights it was slow and try and talk us into coming up to liven up his night. Whenever we walked in the place a chorus of our names was heard and we were both greeting with smiles and hugs from half the people in the place. It was comfortable. It was fun. I had been becoming more and more unhappy with how I was behaving with the opposite sex. I had kept from "dating" anyone from my favorite hang out at this time. Beth had made her way to the bar and I had noticed that there were people sitting in our usual spot. I switched tables and started people watching. My eyes fell on my usual spot and I started watching the group that had planted themselves there. That was the first time I had saw him.
I could not drag my eyes away. He wasn't beautiful, he wasn't classically handsome, but there was something about him I could not turn away from. He looked wild, dangerous, and totally yummy. He was dressed impeccably in slacks, a long sleeved button down shirt and shiny black dress shoes. He stood about 5 ft 10 and had the tan of someone who is out in the sun a lot. His short coal black hair was gelled into a disarray. It was like he had taken his hands and run them through his hair leaving it sticking about every which way, like a rock star. He was laughing and having the time of his life it seemed. My interest was more than piqued. Beth caught me staring. She kept nudging me to get me to quit. The guy was there with another woman. His girlfriend by all appearances. I did not want to get into a confrontation with some female marking her territory. I tried to keep my eyes up front, where the DJ was busy calling people up for karaoke. He called a name and up walked Mr. Dangerous himself. He had put himself in the spotlight so I could look all I wanted while he stood up to sing his song. I wasn't expecting much. Most people who get up to sing karaoke are not very good. He was going to try and sing one of my favorite songs. " Bed of Roses" by Bon Jovi.
I braced myself for the slaughter of another innocent song. The music began and his deep gravely voice sent shivers down my arms. I sat there , slack jawed, in awe. He could sing. He could sing well. The more difficult the song became the more he got into it. I was mesmerized, hooked. I think even Beth was a bit shocked. After he had finished, everyone gave him a loud round of applause. Some of the patrons were even going over to talk to him , to request he sing another. I knew what I wanted to hear. I just could not get out of my seat to ask him to sing it. I spoke very quietly to Beth. She had already had a few drinks and was not as reserved as myself. I was sober. She did it for me. She went over and asked him if he would sing the song I wanted to hear. I could not believe it when he agreed. His girlfriend did not look very happy . Beth came back to our table with the news that he had agreed to sing it and I was on cloud nine. I could not wait. Eventually the DJ called his name and he took the floor and the microphone again. The familiar music that started the song sent my pulse into the same beat.
I know , I know. What was the song I so wanted to hear? With his voice it had to be "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails. For those of you who are going, What song is that?, you would not be alone. Many people do not know that is the title of the song they have heard over and over. They tend to know it by the refrain, " I wanna fuck you like and animal. I wanna feel you from the inside." I could go on but by this point I am sure you know the song. It was a telling kind of song considering that is exactly what I so wanted to do. No one had ever brought on such a quick , mind numbing lust with just a look or the sound of his voice. It was like I had been put under his spell. All I know is I wanted him and I wanted him bad.
I made do that night with listening him sing the words I wanted to hear, the words I wanted to say. I did not make a move. I didn't "date" guys from my bar and I did not "date " men who were already spoken for. I learned that one the hard way. I also did not want to mess up my party spot with possible awkward meetings after the fact. I could not get him out of my head though. I dropped Beth off that night and went home alone. I saw him once more at the Redneck Bar, with the same woman. I continued to cast sly glances his direction and stare openly when he got up to sing. I did not speak to him. I just watched. Little did I know with the coming New Year all that would change.
I could not drag my eyes away. He wasn't beautiful, he wasn't classically handsome, but there was something about him I could not turn away from. He looked wild, dangerous, and totally yummy. He was dressed impeccably in slacks, a long sleeved button down shirt and shiny black dress shoes. He stood about 5 ft 10 and had the tan of someone who is out in the sun a lot. His short coal black hair was gelled into a disarray. It was like he had taken his hands and run them through his hair leaving it sticking about every which way, like a rock star. He was laughing and having the time of his life it seemed. My interest was more than piqued. Beth caught me staring. She kept nudging me to get me to quit. The guy was there with another woman. His girlfriend by all appearances. I did not want to get into a confrontation with some female marking her territory. I tried to keep my eyes up front, where the DJ was busy calling people up for karaoke. He called a name and up walked Mr. Dangerous himself. He had put himself in the spotlight so I could look all I wanted while he stood up to sing his song. I wasn't expecting much. Most people who get up to sing karaoke are not very good. He was going to try and sing one of my favorite songs. " Bed of Roses" by Bon Jovi.
I braced myself for the slaughter of another innocent song. The music began and his deep gravely voice sent shivers down my arms. I sat there , slack jawed, in awe. He could sing. He could sing well. The more difficult the song became the more he got into it. I was mesmerized, hooked. I think even Beth was a bit shocked. After he had finished, everyone gave him a loud round of applause. Some of the patrons were even going over to talk to him , to request he sing another. I knew what I wanted to hear. I just could not get out of my seat to ask him to sing it. I spoke very quietly to Beth. She had already had a few drinks and was not as reserved as myself. I was sober. She did it for me. She went over and asked him if he would sing the song I wanted to hear. I could not believe it when he agreed. His girlfriend did not look very happy . Beth came back to our table with the news that he had agreed to sing it and I was on cloud nine. I could not wait. Eventually the DJ called his name and he took the floor and the microphone again. The familiar music that started the song sent my pulse into the same beat.
I know , I know. What was the song I so wanted to hear? With his voice it had to be "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails. For those of you who are going, What song is that?, you would not be alone. Many people do not know that is the title of the song they have heard over and over. They tend to know it by the refrain, " I wanna fuck you like and animal. I wanna feel you from the inside." I could go on but by this point I am sure you know the song. It was a telling kind of song considering that is exactly what I so wanted to do. No one had ever brought on such a quick , mind numbing lust with just a look or the sound of his voice. It was like I had been put under his spell. All I know is I wanted him and I wanted him bad.
I made do that night with listening him sing the words I wanted to hear, the words I wanted to say. I did not make a move. I didn't "date" guys from my bar and I did not "date " men who were already spoken for. I learned that one the hard way. I also did not want to mess up my party spot with possible awkward meetings after the fact. I could not get him out of my head though. I dropped Beth off that night and went home alone. I saw him once more at the Redneck Bar, with the same woman. I continued to cast sly glances his direction and stare openly when he got up to sing. I did not speak to him. I just watched. Little did I know with the coming New Year all that would change.
posted by hard2stop @ 7:05 PM
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