I don't know

I titled this blog "I don't know " for a few reasons. I am not sure what would be a good name for it. Over the past few months.. heck the past year I have had a lot on my plate as do most adults. Recently it has gotten worse. My father has been in the hospital for the last 6 weeks. The longer he stays the more certain he is never coming out. There were times even my faith in his recovery was in jeopardy. Especially when he was in the ICU. The hospital has made so many mistakes with his care my mother doesn't even want to leave his side for fear of them forgetting some important part of his treatment. She sleeps there now at his request. They have been married for over 30 years. Odd in today's society, I know. They have had their share of arguments and fights and stood together through things that would have torn most marriages apart. My dad had a kidney transplant when he was 24, mom had a heart attack at 38, dads subsequent problems from the medications for rejection the most being the cancer that has overtaken his skin. Amputation ad now a rare form of pneumonia and blood clots. I commend my parents for their dedication and love for the other. They have thought me so much about not giving up when the going gets tough. You stick it out and make it work. Maybe I listened to the lesson a bit to literally.My dad is starting to make progress but it is going to be very slow. During the time he was in the hospital I moved from my home back into their home. I have blogged about the move already.

I want to thank my parents for everything they have done for me. Without them I would be nothing. I will also stand by them and be there whenever they need me. That is the kind of person I am. I know I have changed over the last few years. Mainly for self preservation. I have told part of events, none of some events, I have skirted the truth and even lied on occasion. I don't know anyone who can say they have not lied in their life. I know some people would love for you to believe they tell you the truth all of the time but I am beyond being that gullible. People will tell you what they want you to hear when it comes to covering their own butts. Any of them. The ones that say they wouldn't, are in fact lying. I do believe lying about the big stuff is wrong.. Cheating, stealing, hurting someone else. I am not an awful person. I do have morals. If anyone reading this thinks otherwise them maybe they should just not read it or if they believe I am such a horrible person then stay away from me. I don't need toxic friends. I have had toxic relationships be them friends or significant others.

I don't always make the best decisions when it comes to my love life. From what I have noticed a lot of people don't. Don't judge me on my bad relationships and I will not judge you on yours! No one is perfect. For those who have stood beside me through it all. Thank you. I love each one of you. I will always be there when and if you may need me. For those others well........... Oh I am just going to do it. For those others you may kiss my natural white ass! Love ya!