Redneck Wedding

Ok it seems I am the first to blog about my past weekend's events. Last Monday I was invited to a wedding taking place the coming Saturday. I really didn't think anything about receiving the invitation via the telephone rather that the usual card stock -printed invites that you get in the mail. The two getting married is a rather unusual couple. I will get to that in a few minutes. The groom was an old friend of mine from the Redneck bar. He used to be the DJ and would always welcome me with a smile and a huge hug. He is not bad looking, always smelled really good but old enough to be my dad. Literally. I graduated high school with his son. Anyway, he extended the invite to me and told me to inform the gang.

Friday before the wedding we had HORRIBLE rain storms and started having flash flooding. Saturday came and the rain didn't go away. More flooding. Highways and certain roads were closed. Cars and homes submerged, not completely. Basements flooded. It was a mess. I could not imagine having to prepare for a wedding. They did. We showed up at the small church and the groom greeted me as always, with a big hug. We made it on time but it seems his son, the best man, had yet to get there so the wedding was going to be delayed. No problem. Except the DJ for the reception was a girl I had went to high school with and decided she was going to sit next to me, Redneckgirl and Mindtwister. I am usually a very friendly person but she has a way of becoming too friendly with everyone. She has a husband, a boyfriend and a girlfriend and is always looking to expand the list. I did not want to be next on the list even though she kept placing her hand higher on my thigh everytime she would talk to me to get my attention. Yipes!!!

The best man showed and the wedding was underway. I am not really a big wedding person but still something pulls at me when I attend. The normal procession up the isle. The flower girl did not want to throw her flowers. She was so cute. The ceremony was quick but odd. The bride walked up the isle with her veil pulled back showing her face off to the world. No problem many brides these days do that. The odd part was at the end after they pronounced them husband and wife they pulled the veil over her face. They did it backwards!!!! And there was no kiss. Not kidding. I have never been to a wedding where the bride and groom did not kiss at the end and the brides face was completely covered. The bad part was not even 50 people were there and they were expecting over 100.

I told you that I would get into the odd part of the couple. The groom is in his late 40's and the bride in her early 20's. She looks 12. It looked like a father and daughter standing next to one another. I have no problem with age differences butI guess it is the ick factor. I could not imagine marrying a man old enough to be my dad. The odd part was the brides father looked young enough to be the groom. When they had the father daughter dance it looked like they were the ones who should be getting married. They had kareokee at the wedding reception and most of the guests were true rednecks. The bride was hanging out with all her 20 something friends and the groom would disappear to the parking lot to tip the liquor he stashed in the car. Redneckgirl , mindtwister and I finally made our escape and went to the local Tumbleweed restaurant. I proceeded to have a monster margarita. After a trip to the local liquor store and a couple hours at the Redneck bar I was soused. I made my drunken way to the truck and was dropped off at my door. For further information from the night you may be able to convince Redneckgirl or Mindtwister to fill in the gaps....lol