Moving On

As most of you already know I moved out of my home this past weekend. I lived there for 1 1/2 yrs. I know it doesn't seem that long but it was the first place I could call my own. Until then I had lived with my parents. I purchased it before it was even built. Everything about it I decided on, from the wall color to the type of knobs on the cabinets. It was more than a just a place to live to me. My freedom, my hopes and my dreams were contained in the walls. I loved it. If I loved it so much why did I leave? I had no choice. Finacially I was no longer able to keep up with the payments.

I have made some very poor decisions over the last 2 years. Mostly I put my trust and my money where I should have tried a bit more cautiously. It cost me everything. I have lost my self respect, my pride, and my home. I have moved back in with my parents. I am sleeping in the same room I grew up in and I am almost 30. How pathetic.

I don't know what I would have done without the help of my friends. My father is in the hospital and mom was trying to prepare for my move back. They were unable to assist with my move. Redneckgirl and I spent 2 nights through the week packing. Then redneckgirl and mindtwister came over Friday and we were up until 7am Saturday packing. We slept for about 3 hours then got started again. Another of my friends who is 8 months pregnant and her husband brought one of his friends over to haul my stuff away. We finally got done about 11 at night Saturday night. Redneckgirl gave me a card and I couldn't hold back the tears. I cried. Then I went back to my parents house.

Sunday I spent most of my time getting ready for the baby shower of the friend that assisted with my move. I was alright or so I thought. I had to meet the new owners at my house and hand over my precious keys. Sunday October 22 at 6:35 pm I handed my freedom and my heart to a bleach blond named Becky. Yes that is her real name. I got back into my SUV and pulled down the road for the last time. I got to my parents front door calm and composed. It was when I stuck my key in their lock I lost it. I thought I had gotten out all of the tears. I was wrong. I went in and went back to my old bedroom and proceeded to lay by myself and cry like the day I was born.

I am so very grateful to the people who helped me this weekend. I owe them big. Also Redneckgirl thank you for the shoulder. I needed my friends and you came through as always. Mustangscarlett I understand why you weren't there. I do hope this weekend helped you a small bit on the road to self learning and maybe even a bit of your own healing. I could not imagine not having my parents. As for the rest of my "friends" I do hope whatever you did this weekend was worth it. Sometimes it is not about what a person asks you to do in the physical sense but the fact that they just need the support during a trying time. As for myself. I am exhausted and crying as I type. I'm moving on............