Borrowed Time

I knew it was going to be difficult for Jason to adjust to our world. It was not the same one he left so many years ago. Immediately following his release my cousin stayed at the house. She, Jason and Cindy ( my brother's girlfriend) kept him busy. He had so much to get used to from learning how to text, setting up e mail account, dealing with the drastic decline in our father's health since the last time he was home. I think dad was the hardest for him. Everything I had already accepted Jason was getting a crash course in.

Jason did great when he got home. He got a full time job driving a fork lift. He was clean and sober, attending regular NA meetings. He came home every night and helped take care of dad. A couple weeks after Jason got home dad got very sick. We had to take him to the hospital where he was admitted. Jason got a hard crash course in ill dad 101. He stayed up at the hospital all night every night until he got his job. Then he was there as long as he could be until dad would boot him from the room. Dad ended up in ICU that trip but got better, kind of. They eventually sent dad home and Jason became his physical therapist. Every night it was exercises and then walking. Dad was getting stronger. Jason's next court date was looming closer. The closer the date got the more pensive Jason became. I tried to give him hope. It would be crazy to send him to prison now.

Dad got sick again about a week before Jason was due in court. He had a heart attack. They wanted to make sure he was stable before they did a cath to check the damage. Dad was not bouncing back the way he always did. They eventually scheduled the cath for the same day as Jason's court date. This was not good. It meant mom would be with dad and i would be responsible for Jason. Not that I thought he was going to run or anything.

The night before Jason and I went to the hospital. We sat there a long time just the four of us. When it was time for Jason and I to leave he leaned over and spoke to my dad so neither myself or my mother could hear. Jason was saying good bye and not just for the night.

The next morning we proceeded to get dressed and start downtown. I had been so hopeful since he got out that they would not send him back, but I could not escape the lump of lead that had taken place in my stomach. I was nauseated. I did stop to get Jason some breakfast. Something told me he needed to eat, it could be a while before his next meal. We got to the courthouse and walked in together. Side by side. Several people had shown up to offer us their support. I was so glad to see them. The lawyer seemed confident things would go well. Jason went up front and I sat in the galley and we waited for the judge to begin. Turns out they never assigned a prosecutor for the case. They picked on up out of the hallway, and he had to go over the case before we could start. It was nerve wrecking. All this waiting.

When things finally got underway, the dread I had tried to push away was back. The prosecutor wanted the probation revoked and Jason sent to prison for the rest of his sentence. The judge made a nice long speech. The longer she spoke the more I did not want to listen. In the end everything Jason had done right- never in trouble while in Florida, all the certificates, all the letters sent in, taking care of my dad, a full time job, staying clean and going to NA meetings, offering to pay back the money he owed for restitution- did not matter to her. She sent him back to prison. " Sometimes it is not about rehabilitation. Sometimes it is about punishment."

As the bailiff stalked over to handcuff Jason, Cindy lost in moaning and running from the courtroom. I was stunned. I could not believe this was really happening. I could feel my eyes well up with tears. It felt like I was trying to breathe through a thick cotton blanket, my lungs burning. My entire body burning with intense hatred, shaking from anger. This was not right. About this time I started to open my mouth to shout the words I could not keep from coming and Robin was standing in front of me. She pulled my head into her stomach as the words come tumbling out. " The fucking cunt just sent my baby brother back. I hope she chokes on her vomit and dies." I pulled away and went to take my brothers belongings from Roy then made a bee line for the door. I was sick inside. Devastated. Now I was going to have to tell my mother that I was not bringing her baby back with me. Again I failed. I told my dad I would bring him back.

Waiting

It has been a while since my last post. It is now June and summer is upon us. I know I left my story about Marc a cliff hanger. I will get back to it eventually. So much has happened since I last posted. My little brother was brought back to Kentucky on Feb 20. A couple of retired State Troopers went to Florida to get him. They did not arrive until late Friday night and Jason's arriagnment was not scheduled until Monday morning. It was a long weekend. One of the longest I have ever had.

Monday morning my mom, dad and I got up and got dressed to face the day at the courthouse. We had one of my best friends with us as well as one of my cousin's. My mom was a basket case ranting at the smallest things. My dad had grown very quiet. We were under the impression that there would be a lawyer there for Jason. We went early to try and get through the paperwork beforehand. My parents were going to use the house as a bond to get my brother out. We had to park 2 blocks from the courthouse and I pushed my dad in the wheelchair. He was not able to walk the distance. When we got there we were told that the property bond could not be done until Jason had been before the judge. We had to wait. As we waited it became apparent that the lawyer we thought was going to be there did not know he was supposed to be there. He also wanted a nice sum of money for his services. Money my parents did not have right at the moment. MY mother went crazy!!!! She was unconsolable at this point. She refused to answer the man's call and I had to do it. My cousin spoke with her husband and they offered to loan my mom and dad the money for the lawyer since my mom would be able to pay them back in a few weeks. We had the lawyer settled and he was on his way.

Now we waited for the lawyer, the arraignment, Jason. They brought him into the courtroom to stand before the judge. The same judge that had given him probation 9 years ago. She was not thrilled to see him. They had no prosecutor for the case. They could not even find his "jacket" to let them know what he had done or where he had been. Jason's lawyer talked the judge into giving him a property bond, but not before she lectured my parents, trying to talk them out of it. She wanted to give a full cash bond. Now it was a reace to get Jason's paperwork done downtown and then a race to Shepherdsville to get paperwork done there. We cut it very very close. I pulled into the parking lot in Shepherdsville at ten to 4. They closed at 4. My dad yelled at me 4 times in the car to slow down on the way. Each time he would turn his head I would inch back down on the acclerator. YEAH we made it. Now we had to wait for the paperwork to go through so he would get released.

I dropped my parents and Rob off at our home. She had come to the court house in downtown for support. Then me, my cousin, my friend and my brothers girlfriend drove back to downtown and waited for Jason to be released. We waited and waited and waited. We waited about 4-5 hours before he finally emerged from the double doors. I had called dibs on first hug. I am his sister. As I was hugging him I was recalling the words of a guy who had been released before Jason and had said how lucky Jason was to have a car full of women come and get him. I think Jason thought he was lucky just to be out. It was the first time he had been in the world in eight and a half years. We had another court date set for April 16, but right now we were living in the moment. I took my brother home, At last he was home.